Unthinkable

So just last May I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and for the first time I didn't know what I was going to do or even how I was going to handle it. I was so scared about this disease, mostly because I did not know or understand anything about it. After spending sometime reading about the disease I felt a little more at ease about it.
 Now I'm not as scared as much as I am angry. I'm mostly angry that I can't seem to keep this disease under control and I am at the hospital so often. I'm angry because I'm always in so much pain and I can't seem to control it without making a trip to the E.R. I hate the fact and feeling that I'm nothing but a burden to my family because they're always having to take me to the hospital and sit there for six to nine hours.
 Most of the time I feel like I battling this disease alone and that no one has my back. I feel like I have no help or understanding when it comes to having Multiple Sclerosis. To be honest I would do anything to be healthy and not have this disease,because I know this disease is only going to get worse. So I try to have some sort of normal life and I try to enjoy life to the fullest and also try not to sweat the small stuff.   
 I really hate feeling like I have no sort of support from my parents. I wish they were more understanding instead of getting frustrated with me when I need to go to the hospital. I do understand some of they're frustration because growing up i was always going to the hospital and even as I got older I was always going and it was always the same answer. They didn't know what was wrong with me. But I feel things are different now because there is something now and it's something that I'm having a hard time controlling.
 Sometimes my family makes having this disease harder on me then it really needs to be. They make me feel bad for being sick, like I asked for this. I just really wish they could live just a month in my shoes. So they can feel all the pain I feel and go through almost everyday. So they can see and feel what its like not being able to do a lot of the things that I love and enjoy doing.
 Oh well I guess I'm just complaining. I guess I'll just continue dealing with my illness alone and keep my mouth shut,